you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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