i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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