I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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