Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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