Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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