Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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