He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize