im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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