Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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