No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize