I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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