My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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