Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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