I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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