Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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