the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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