this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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