Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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