Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize