sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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