call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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