I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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