and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize