Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
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