I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize