All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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