people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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