Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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