You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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