my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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