Already got asked if we're dating
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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