im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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