Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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