Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
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I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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