ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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