I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize