respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
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they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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