all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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