all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize