Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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