Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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