yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize