he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize