Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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