You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
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sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize