I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize