Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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