Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize