ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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