Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
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he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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